Colossians 3:20 Meaning “Children, obey your parents”

Obedient Hearts: Christ’s Call to Children

“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.”

(Colossians 3:20)

Colossians 3:20 Simple Command Profound Implications

Few biblical commands are as brief yet far-reaching as Paul’s words in Colossians 3:20.

“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.”

It seems simple enough—so simple, in fact, that adults may rush past it. Yet this short sentence reaches into every corner of family life. It describes not only a behavior but a heart posture; not merely social order but spiritual worship.

Paul places this command within a larger section describing what it means to “put on the new self” (Colossians 3:10). The gospel, having reconciled us to God, begins to transform our most intimate relationships—marriage, parenting, work, and community. The Christian home is therefore not a neutral zone; it is one of the chief arenas in which the lordship of Christ is displayed.

Colossians 3:20 What “Children” Means

When Paul says “children,” he is not speaking only to toddlers. The Greek word tekna encompasses all who are under parental authority—anyone still living within the household structure and dependent upon their parents’ care and guidance. That includes the elementary-age child, the teenager navigating independence, and even the adult son or daughter who still dwells under their parents’ roof.

In short, if you are under your parents’ authority, this command is for you.

And the command itself—“obey your parents in everything”—is breathtakingly broad. It reaches every sphere of life, from chores and schedules to attitude and respect, from outward actions to inward motivations.

Colossians 3:20 Obedience as a Spiritual Act

Paul roots obedience not in custom or culture but in Christ:

“…for this pleases the Lord.”

Children obey not simply because their parents are older or wiser, but because Christ is Lord, and He has delegated authority within the family for our good. Obedience, then, becomes a way of serving Christ Himself. When a child yields to parental instruction, he or she is, in a very real sense, yielding to Christ’s own rule.

This lifts the entire subject of obedience out of mere behavior management. It becomes an expression of faith—trusting that the Lord’s design for family authority is good, wise, and meant for blessing.

Colossians 3:20 Obedience in Deed, Word, and Thought

Paul does not separate obedience from the rest of Christian life. It must reach deed, word, and thought.

Obedience in Deed

Actions reveal the heart most plainly. The obedient child does what is asked—gladly, promptly, and completely. True obedience is proactive, not merely reactive. It does not wait until the parent’s footsteps sound in the hallway before beginning the chore. It seeks to do what pleases, not merely what prevents trouble.

This reflects the character of Christ Himself, who said, “I always do the things that are pleasing to Him” (John 8:29). Every act of genuine obedience mirrors the Son’s obedience to the Father.

Obedience in Word

It is possible to comply outwardly while dishonoring inwardly through words. Scripture forbids that separation. Jesus reminded His hearers that to “speak evil of father or mother” was itself worthy of judgment (Matt. 15:4).

Honoring parents means speaking with respect even when disagreement arises. Tone, timing, and choice of words all reveal whether the heart is humble or proud. The Christian child learns to use speech as a channel of grace in the home.

Obedience in Thought

Here lies the deepest challenge. Outward obedience can be enforced; inward willingness cannot. Only the Spirit of Christ can bend the will lovingly toward submission.

A child may perform every task perfectly and still nurture resentment within. But the gospel aims for more than compliance—it aims for transformation. Christ renews the mind so that obedience flows from gratitude, not fear; from love, not coercion.

Colossians 3:20 Boundaries of “In Everything”

Paul’s phrase “in everything” might seem unlimited, but he adds a crucial qualification in Ephesians 6:1: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

“In the Lord” defines the boundary. If a command from a parent contradicts God’s Word or requires sin, the Christian child must obey God rather than men (Acts 5:29). Yet within all lawful and morally neutral matters, obedience remains the rule.

Even when a parent’s instruction seems unreasonable, the child’s call is to obey as unto Christ, trusting that the Lord sees and will vindicate righteousness in His time. As the parable in Luke 12 reminds us, “the master will return.” Christ’s justice will ultimately set all wrongs right.

Colossians 3:20 Honoring Parents: Broader Principle

Behind this command lies the Fifth Commandment: “Honor your father and your mother.” The Westminster Larger Catechism expands beautifully on what such honor involves:

“The honor which inferiors owe to their superiors is all due reverence in heart, word, and behavior; prayer and thanksgiving for them; imitation of their virtues and graces; willing obedience to their lawful commands and counsels; bearing with their infirmities and covering them in love.”
(WLC Q. 127)

To honor parents is to recognize their God-given office and to treat them as gifts from the Lord—even when they fail, even when they are imperfect. Honoring them becomes an act of faith in the God who placed them over us.

Colossians 3:20 Heart Behind Obedience

Biblical obedience does not arise from compulsion but from love. Jesus said, “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments” (John 14:15). The same Spirit who enables believers to call God “Father” also enables children to respond rightly to earthly parents.

When obedience flows from the gospel, it ceases to be drudgery. It becomes delight. The child learns that pleasing the Lord brings far deeper joy than pleasing self. And in this, obedience trains the heart for lifelong discipleship.

Colossians 3:20 Virtues of Christ in the Home

Immediately before these household instructions, Paul told believers to “put on” certain spiritual garments (Col. 3:12-14). These are not optional accessories but essential attire for every Christian household—especially for children seeking to please the Lord.

Compassion

To obey with compassion means to consider the weight borne by one’s parents. Parents carry heavy responsibilities, and compassionate children lighten that load rather than add to it.

Kindness

Kindness is the gentle courtesy of a willing heart. It looks for ways to help rather than to argue. A kind spirit smooths the daily frictions of family life.

Humility

Humility bows the heart before authority, acknowledging that God uses imperfect parents to accomplish His perfect purposes. Pride resists correction; humility welcomes it.

Gentleness

Gentleness is strength under control. It refuses to lash out when corrected or to answer harshness with harshness. It reflects the meekness of Christ, “who when He was reviled, did not revile in return.”

Patience

Finally, patience endures frustration and delay without complaint, remembering that Christ Himself is patient with us. When a child bears long with imperfect parents, he mirrors the long-suffering love of the Savior.

Colossians 3:20 Reward of Obedience

Paul offers a promise elsewhere: “Honor your father and mother… that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” (Eph. 6:2-3). Obedience brings blessing—not as a mechanical transaction, but as the natural fruit of aligning with God’s design.

And above every earthly blessing stands this highest reward:

“This pleases the Lord.”

What higher motive or sweeter promise could there be?

Colossians 3:20 Conclusion

Looking to Christ, the Perfect Son

Every command in Scripture ultimately points us to Christ, who fulfilled it perfectly. As a child, He “was submissive to” His earthly parents (Luke 2:51). As the eternal Son, He obeyed His Father even unto death on a cross. His perfect obedience covers our failures and supplies the grace we need to grow.

So whether you are a young child learning to obey, a teenager wrestling with independence, or a believer reflecting on how to honor aging parents, the call is the same:
Look to Christ. Trust Him to work in you what pleases Him. Obedience to parents is not merely a household rule—it is the echo of Christ’s obedience resounding in the hearts of His people.